Whatever He wants to say

I fumbled out of bed, baby in tow and sludged into the morning routine. Baby's bottle-Baby's breakfast-playing with baby...then nap time.  Sweet, sweet naptime.
All the while I feel like I'm going to explode.  Echoes of my harsh words from before I had even lifted the covers ring in my heart.  Why?  What is my problem?!  Everything's fine!  1000 different thoughts, lists, and must are floating around in my head.  I need a moment.  Just a quiet moment with no pressure.  I need to find answers.  Really important, big answers.  God will you please answer?!  A harsh tone lifts from my dark heart for the second time today.

Now, I remember.  He came just yesterday during a morning much like this.  He had melted away the invisible pressure that nags my shoulders.  So...I go there again.

I drink in the black words on the white pages and no longer ask for answers, just His voice.  His voice, saying whatever He wants to say.  God smoothes the wrinkles of worry in my soul and breathes hope into my heart.  Not with answers, but with love.  Pure, faithful love.

Answers will come.  In the meantime His voice crumbles my anxiety and satisfies all my needs.  My soul sings.

" The Lord is my chosen and assigned portion, my cup; You hold and maintain my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good heritage. I will bless the Lord, Who has given me counsel; yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons.  I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety."  Psalms 16:5-9

holy experience

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