Treasure of Trust

Looking from the outside in, our lives have been chaos lately. The past two weeks have been packed with hospital stays, ultrasounds, tests, minor emergency surgery (rescue cerclage), follow up doctor visits and stretching of finances. My husband and I have run the gamut of emotions including surprise, shock, fear, disbelief, confidence, gratitude, and peace. The little bundle of love in my belly is our miracle. We have endured more than 8 years of fighting infertility, dealing with loss and learning the true meaning of trusting in God's sovereignty rather than simply in His ability to answer. It's amazing to me that after all of that I assumed pregnancy would be easy, breezy and beautiful. I supposed God thought "she's had enough, let's give her a baby now". Instead we have dealt with the risk of cystic fibrosis, enlarged kidneys, cysts on the brain, a funneled and shortened (incompetent) cervix and the threat of premature birth. Looking at this list all at once makes it sound like I've had a pregnancy of horror, but the truth is quite the contrary. After all we've been through to have this baby, these bumps in the road have seemed so minor in my spirit. I truly believe God has used past pain to create a rich treasure of sweet and simple confidence in His control, which is just now being discovered. I'm now facing my 3rd trimester straight in the face and all I can think about is how grateful I am. I'm thankful for the strength and peace God placed in my heart, even during the scariest of doctor's reports. I'm thankful for a sweet and strong husband that has resorted to prayer over us every step of the way. I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit led a radiology student to discover the dangerous state of my cervix. I'm thankful for the support system that raised up while we were in the hospital. I'm thankful that we now have a great possibility of making it to full term with a healthy (and VERY active) baby. I'm thankful to finally be able to be in a place of trust and rest in God. To me, that's the biggest miracle of all.

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