In awe: a quick note

Well, I'm officially a mommy now! It's hard to believe. I don't have time to reflect very thoroughly right now (I've got to catch some shut eye while I can), but I did want to say it's wonderful. I had no idea I would be flooded with such a depth of emotion. Of course I'm overwhelmed with love for this tiny perfect person, but it's so much more than that. I'm flooded with a deep terrifying awareness of my responsibility, my need to live beyond myself and the unexplainable awe of how I now have so much to lose. It's scary to love someone so much. I, of course, feel I couldn't breath without my husband, but this is different than that. It's indescribable. With all of this in mind, I keep thinking, how did God give up His Son for me? I'm dumbfounded by it. After just 9 days I could not give up Elli for anything, let alone for someone that is undeserving and doesn't even love me back at the same level if at all. God's love is becoming more and more beyond what my mind can handle. I'm completely in awe of who He is and what He has done in me and for me. I love you, Lord!