Whatever He wants to say

I fumbled out of bed, baby in tow and sludged into the morning routine. Baby's bottle-Baby's breakfast-playing with baby...then nap time.  Sweet, sweet naptime.
All the while I feel like I'm going to explode.  Echoes of my harsh words from before I had even lifted the covers ring in my heart.  Why?  What is my problem?!  Everything's fine!  1000 different thoughts, lists, and must are floating around in my head.  I need a moment.  Just a quiet moment with no pressure.  I need to find answers.  Really important, big answers.  God will you please answer?!  A harsh tone lifts from my dark heart for the second time today.

Now, I remember.  He came just yesterday during a morning much like this.  He had melted away the invisible pressure that nags my shoulders.  So...I go there again.

I drink in the black words on the white pages and no longer ask for answers, just His voice.  His voice, saying whatever He wants to say.  God smoothes the wrinkles of worry in my soul and breathes hope into my heart.  Not with answers, but with love.  Pure, faithful love.

Answers will come.  In the meantime His voice crumbles my anxiety and satisfies all my needs.  My soul sings.

" The Lord is my chosen and assigned portion, my cup; You hold and maintain my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good heritage. I will bless the Lord, Who has given me counsel; yes, my heart instructs me in the night seasons.  I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety."  Psalms 16:5-9

2010 begins

I haven't blogged for quite sometime, primarily due to the fact that I've been gone 20 out of the last 30 days. Within that time period 2009 left with a shout and 2010 arrived screaming. Until now I haven't had a moment to boil down what I'd like to see happen in 2010 into a concise statement. (You know, one of those "I really want to impress people" statements.)

I read a blog article today by one of my favorite pastor's wives.  In it she discussed this quote...

"Stop feeding what you want to die and starving what you want to live.”

For 2010, I believe this quote explains exactly what I want to do this year.  I want to cause the right things to live and thrive in my life and the useless things to die.  This will mean a painstaking process of purposefully changing what gets fed and what gets ignored.

My heart is begging to love God more fully, live life more healthfully, and cultivate meaningful relationships.  This means I must stop starving those areas by wasting time, making excuses and hiding behind the word "busy".  Rather I must feed these areas with daily time of worship and prayer, physical exercise, healthy food and intentional relationship building.

I'm embarrassed to say it's all pretty basic, but I have yet to live a day in which I could say "I was exactly what I was meant to be, today."  I want to feed that person and starve out the fearful, insecure excuse filled one.

2010 has big things in store and I want to be ready.  So...first things first...

Lord, more than ever before, be the center of my heart.  Remove any ugly clods of hardness, hurt or sin that may be between us.  Help me to love You, honor You and bring glory to Your name.  Please lead me and guide me to be the person you planned me to be from the very beginning.  Cause me to have an appetite for diligence and a soft yeilded heart.  I love You, in Your Name, amen.

When busy, post pictures...MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"This isn't so bad, but my pinchers are ready just in case.."

"Wait-why is this guy looking at me?  Is anyone else getting nervous?"

"ok, I'm definitely nervous and definitely done now."

I want to touch this!

OH precious, beautiful touch screen computer...I really want to win you!

Check out MckMama's page...you can enter for a chance to win this HP TouchSmart beauty too!

Our crazy, wonderful life

Hello? Are you still there?  As the holiday season goes things have picked up from busy to super sonic insanity.  Beyond that, this is my first year trying to balance church holiday stuff, family holiday stuff, work stuff, and home WHILE trying to still be a great mommy!  I'm feeling a bit like a house of cards, but I just keep telling myself I'm still in the middle of a learning curve...right?....RIGHT?!  ha ha  I have been busy, but I have also been overwhelmed with gratitude.  As the evening of Thanksgiving was winding down I was flooded with emotion.  I have been waiting for a holiday season with my very own little family for a long long time and it's finally here!

Here are a few of the favorite things that have happened in the midst of our crazy, wonderful lives:

Elli's FIRST Thanksgiving (she couldn't get enough turkey or yams!)

Annual Christmas Parade/Black Friday Shopping Mania (Elli wasn't quite as thrilled as mommy & daddy)

PIR Dog Walk with Fam and Friends (psst...Teddy Toes is the greatest baby blanket EVER!!!)

Christmas Tree hunting at Martin's (love this place...we found near perfection this year, Elli has a good eye!)

Teaching Elli the art of tree decorating (and how NOT to touch the lights!)

Despite the busy schedule, I LOVE the holiday season!  Sharing it with Elli has made it even better!  I'm excited to share more soon, but for now answer this question: What is your absolute FAVORITE thing about this season?  Why?