3.19.2012

An empty heart

I had to fill up our car at 6:50 in the morning today. I didn't want to, but I had to. You can't run a car on empty. I learned that the hard way about 19 years ago.

This past week I learned you can't run a heart on empty either. Good cannot come of a dry soul. I know because this week I sputtered and stalled hard and ugly.

I was weak, short tempered, and short sited. My vision of who I want to be dimmed. My kids suffered the consequences. It was a bad week.

Thankfully...I know where the fill station is. I know how to get there.

I had to fill my heart up at 6:50 this morning. I needed to. I had to. If I didn't things were going to get much worse than ugly.

I drove, I prayed, I cried, I begged and I soaked up every drop that I could get from the only one that can truly fill me. Jesus. I said His name, I asked for forgiveness, I asked for a new start and a filled heart.

Today I started on empty, but I don't (and can't) have to continue that way. Today last week is the past and this week is fresh and new with no mistakes in it.

Today I am re-filled with love, newly washed with mercy and keenly aware that I cannot allow myself to run on fumes any longer. There's too much at stake.

So, today I filled up at 6:50...and tomorrow I will do the same.